Create Holiday Bliss, Not Holiday Stress

My journey toward discovering holiday bliss, rather than succumbing to holiday stress, began vividly seven years ago with yards of exquisite, fresh cedar garland. I was meticulously preparing for a holiday photoshoot for a popular home and garden magazine, and nothing seemed more perfect than decking my grand foyer staircase with this fragrant, natural greenery. It looked absolutely breathtaking, embodying the quintessential holiday spirit.

However, after just about a week, the charm quickly faded. The beautiful garland began to dry out, shedding its needles and crumbling everywhere. The warmth and dry air of the house were simply too much for it to endure. What started as a vision of holiday grandeur quickly devolved into an unsightly mess and a colossal cleanup nightmare. The financial investment and the significant effort involved in arranging it so beautifully felt like a complete waste.

That year, I made a solemn vow: never again would I bring such large quantities of fresh garlands into the house. They belong outdoors, where the cool air allows them to last throughout the season. This cedar garland fiasco became my personal Christmas decorating turning point, a pivotal moment that redefined my entire approach to the holidays.

I truly adore the holiday season and everything it brings – the warmth, the gatherings, the sense of wonder. The only part I don’t cherish is the self-imposed stress that so many of us experience. This often stems from a deeply ingrained belief that we must “do it all,” and not just that, but “do it all perfectly.” The pressure, whether from societal expectations, social media, or our own internal critic, can transform what should be a joyful time into an exhaustive marathon.

I eventually realized that to cultivate true holiday joy, I didn’t need to conform to others’ definitions of “holiday cheer.” I wasn’t obligated to purchase an abundance of trendy new decor heavily promoted by retailers, bloggers, or anyone else. My focus shifted away from expensive decorations or anything that demanded an excessive amount of my precious time to create or maintain. After that defining year, I committed to doing only what was genuinely important for my family and me when the holiday season arrived.

Over the past few years, I haven’t just “pared down” my holiday decorating, but rather “refined” it. This refinement applies to both our indoor and outdoor festive displays. I still appreciate the beauty of fresh cedar indoors, but now I incorporate it sparingly, often mixing it with high-quality faux greenery. This balanced approach has made every aspect of the holidays—from the initial planning to the actual decorating, shopping, baking, and entertaining—immeasurably more enjoyable and less demanding.

Recently, a dear friend expressed her reluctance to decorate at all this year. Her main reason? The sheer dread of the extensive time and effort it takes to take everything down, meticulously box it up, and store it away come January. She admitted to feeling immense guilt, believing she was letting her family down if she didn’t adorn their home in a grand, spectacular fashion. Yet, the mere thought of embarking on such a task left her utterly exhausted and drained.

My advice to her was direct yet compassionate: “If ‘doing it all in grand style’ falls solely on your shoulders, and you genuinely don’t want to do it, then it’s time to edit.” Or, I suggested, it’s time to ask for help from the very family members she felt she might be disappointing. The holidays are a shared experience, and involving loved ones can transform a burden into a collaborative, joyful activity.

When you intentionally “edit” your Christmas activities to focus only on what truly matters, you unlock a profound sense of enjoyment for the holidays. Simultaneously, by ensuring that no one feels you’ve transformed into the Christmas Grinch, the season can feel even more special and meaningful. It’s about being present and enjoying the moments, not just the elaborate displays.

I further elaborated to her that I have been actively refining my own holiday approach over the last few years, all with the aim of building upon my “More Joy” Christmas philosophy.

What’s My “More Joy” Philosophy?

At its core, my “More Joy” philosophy is a deliberate choice: to engage only in activities and traditions that make the holidays feel genuinely special to my family and me, without worrying about external pressures or expectations. It’s about intentional celebration, not obligatory performance.

1. Decide What Really Makes The Holidays Feel Special

After the great cedar garland disaster, I sat down with my husband, Ed, and posed a crucial question: “What are the most important things for you that truly make the holidays feel special?” His answers, combined with my own reflections, formed the foundation for how I began to refine our holiday celebrations. It’s important to note that I didn’t say “simplify.” Sometimes, what makes the holidays special isn’t inherently simple, but by removing what isn’t truly valued, we create more space and time to savor what we genuinely love.

This process allowed us to let go of activities and decorations that felt more like obligations than sources of joy, and crucially, without an ounce of guilt. It’s about being intentional with our time, energy, and resources, ensuring every effort contributes to a richer, more meaningful experience.

To fully embrace “More Joy” over the holidays, I meticulously crafted a list of what made the season special for us. Then, I broke it down even further, asking a more specific question for each item:

• What exactly about this item or activity is the most important part? What is its essence?

My “More Joy” Must-Do Christmas List

• **The Christmas Tree:** Christmas simply isn’t Christmas without a tree. But what truly defines it for us? It’s the magical white twinkling lights that dance and shimmer, creating an enchanting atmosphere.
• **Christmas Music:** Filling the house and car with beloved Christmas music from our childhoods, playing softly throughout the day, evokes a powerful sense of nostalgia and warmth.
• **Candlelight:** Lighting candles in the late afternoon and early evening, casting a soft, inviting glow as dinner is prepared, adds an unparalleled cozy ambiance.
• **Uninterrupted Downtime:** Having dedicated time to do nothing but watch classic Christmas movies, bake comforting cookies (both for enjoyment and to fill festive tins as gifts), is pure, unadulterated pleasure.
• **City Shopping Adventure:** A day spent Christmas shopping in a bustling city, soaking in the vibrant energy, followed by returning home exhausted but content to a twinkling tree, festive music, and flickering candles, defines Christmas joy.
• **Christmas Concerts:** Attending a live Christmas concert, whether it’s the grandeur of choral music or the lively spirit of Holiday Pops, is an annual tradition that deeply enriches our season.

This year, I’m refining my “joy list” even further, giving myself permission to do something I’ve contemplated for years: leaving the Christmas tree completely free of ornaments. There’s an undeniable beauty and magic in a Christmas tree adorned solely with a cascade of gently twinkling white lights – not blinking or flashing, but rather a soft, constant shimmer that evokes serenity.

Here are links to the specific twinkle lights I use to achieve this enchanting effect: 1 | 2 | 3

Watching these soft, twinkling lights instantly transports me back to childhood. I remember lying beneath the illuminated tree at night, mesmerized as the shadows of its branches danced gracefully across the bedroom ceiling. It’s a powerful, nostalgic memory, steeped in warmth and wonder, that I cherish deeply.

Another significant shift we embraced a few years ago stemmed from a practical realization: we hadn’t been home for Christmas itself for several consecutive years. Each time we traveled, we had to rely on a kind neighbor to water our fresh Christmas tree. While we absolutely adored the invigorating scent of a real pine tree, it had become increasingly impractical for our evolving lifestyle.

That’s when we made the decision to invest in our first artificial Christmas tree. The quality of artificial trees has truly come a long way; they now look and feel incredibly realistic. All I needed to do with our pre-lit tree was add a few more strands of those beloved white twinkle lights to make it absolutely perfect for us, combining convenience with classic charm.

2. Make a List and Check it Twice

I highly encourage you to create your own “Christmas Joy” list. This exercise is incredibly powerful because it helps you to consciously focus on the decor, food, events, and traditions that are truly most important and meaningful to you and your family. This isn’t about arbitrary rules; it’s about personal discovery.

Your list doesn’t need to resemble mine in the slightest. Each family has its own unique and cherished holiday traditions that hold personal significance. The act of creating this list is the crucial first step in gracefully removing elements from your holiday preparations that no longer feel special or necessary for you to truly enjoy the season.

If you have children, involve them in this process! Ask them to create their own list of what makes Christmas special for them, and then incorporate their ideas into yours. You might be surprised to discover that a certain activity you’ve always done, believing they loved it, actually holds little importance for them. This realization can free up valuable time and energy that you can redirect towards activities everyone genuinely cherishes.

Once your comprehensive list is complete, go through each item and thoughtfully brainstorm ways to ensure each cherished activity or tradition comes to fruition, without adding unnecessary stress.

3. Pass on Holiday Traditions That No Longer Hold Meaning

Take a moment to pause and genuinely ask yourself: “Do I truly need this particular decorative item, or do I need to attend this specific event, for it to truly feel like Christmas?” If your honest answer is no, then there is absolutely no obligation to use that item or to schedule that event on your calendar this year. Giving yourself this permission is incredibly liberating.

Consider, for instance, whether you mindlessly retrieve storage bin after bin filled with Christmas décor, only to place everything in precisely the same spots as last year. Ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” Is it out of genuine joy, or simply habit?

If a particular decoration is a cherished tradition, and Christmas wouldn’t feel the same without seeing that time-honored piece on the mantel, then it’s undoubtedly a “must-do” for you. It brings you genuine joy and contributes significantly to your sense of the season. These are the items to keep and display proudly.

But what about other decorations? Do you still genuinely like that old snowman figurine that has clearly seen better days? Would it perhaps bring more joy to someone else if it found a new home on a thrift store shelf? Evaluating each item with a critical but kind eye helps you curate a collection that truly resonates.

Of course, if that snowman is worn precisely because you or your children have lovingly played with him every single Christmas, making him a tangible reminder of cherished memories, then he is an absolute keeper, regardless of his condition. Making these decisions can be challenging, as sentimental value often outweighs aesthetic perfection. The goal is to surround yourself only with items that evoke genuine joy and meaning, not just those you possess out of obligation.

My sister, for example, stopped sending physical Christmas cards a few years ago. Given that she regularly connects with everyone she knows throughout the year via calls, emails, texts, and Facebook chats, she now opts to send her holiday greetings online. This simple change saves her not only considerable time but also money. The funds previously spent on cards and postage can now be redirected toward something far more meaningful for her, aligning perfectly with her “More Joy” philosophy.

4. Plan Ahead

Once you’ve given yourself the valuable permission to refine your holidays, the next powerful step is to get everything you enjoy about the holidays meticulously planned and mapped out on a calendar. Proactive planning is a cornerstone of a stress-free season, transforming vague wishes into concrete, achievable goals.

Designate a specific day for a joyful baking marathon. Mark the dates for local Christmas bazaars or your dedicated shopping days. Purchase concert tickets well in advance to secure your spots. Schedule a delightful breakfast meetup with family or friends before a shopping excursion. These are the “important-to-you” elements that should be prioritized and locked into your calendar now, long before the holiday rush truly begins. This foresight prevents disappointment and ensures you get to experience the moments you cherish most.

Many excellent printable planners are available for just a few dollars, offering a structured way to organize your holiday plans. You can find a very nice, comprehensive one here: Christmas Planner. Utilizing such a tool can significantly reduce mental clutter and ensure no cherished activity is forgotten.

Holiday Time Savers

• **Utilize a Planner or Folder:** Keep all your holiday-related lists, concert tickets, important receipts, and other essential items organized together in one dedicated planner or folder. This prevents frantic searching and streamlines your preparations.
• **Embrace Online Shopping:** Leverage the convenience of online shopping as much as possible. With most retailers now offering free shipping options, it’s a huge time-saver that allows you to avoid crowded stores and lengthy checkout lines.
• **Batch Buy Baking Ingredients:** When you’re grocery shopping for your Thanksgiving meal, take the opportunity to buy all your cookie-making ingredients at the same time. This way, when the spontaneous urge strikes to bake a fresh batch of cookies while watching a favorite Hallmark movie, you’ll have everything you need right at your fingertips.
• **Wrap Gifts Incrementally:** Instead of facing a daunting mountain of gifts to wrap all at once, wrap them gradually. Dedicate time to wrapping while you’re watching Christmas movies or as soon as you bring purchases home. This approach significantly lessens stress, unless, of course, wrapping a huge pile of gifts in one sitting is an activity you genuinely enjoy and consider part of your holiday joy!

Work At Adding More Joy… Slowly

It’s crucial to understand that I didn’t overhaul my decorating style or our holiday celebration traditions all at once. These changes unfolded gradually, over a span of several years. Each year, I continue to refine my “More Joy” list, meticulously ensuring that everything we do genuinely contributes to the festive spirit, while confidently letting go of activities or expectations that truly don’t matter or bring us joy. It’s an ongoing process of thoughtful curation.

Always remember: life is simply too short to be consumed by the wrong details. The holiday season, in particular, is a remarkably short period within the grand scheme of your life. Make the absolute most of it by diligently editing your “More Joy” list, and then checking it twice to ensure that every single activity you undertake genuinely produces joy and meaning. Let go of the “shoulds” and embrace the “wants.”

I promise that by adopting this intentional approach, your holidays will undoubtedly be merrier and brighter. And when the new year finally rolls around, you’ll find yourself with far less to put away, feeling more refreshed, and energized with positive energy to embark on a wonderful new chapter. This year, give yourself the precious gift of permission to celebrate the holidays exactly how you want them – in your own authentic, joyful style.